Jesus tells his disciples to follow him.  To stop everything and just follow him.  Some of them had to quit working, leave family, forget burying their father – because he said to follow him.

But what happens when we muster up the courage to say, “Yes, Lord.  I will follow You to the ends of the Earth,” and His response is to stay right where we are?  It feels like a let down.  It feels like it’s not enough.  Surely staying here in my comfortable home with pleasant neighbors and money in the bank is not what He has for us.  Didn’t He say things would be difficult; that we would be hated because the world hated Him?  So what do you do when it feels too easy?

I wish the disciples had been put in this situation so I could work off of their example.  What do you think they would have done if after all the teaching and traveling Jesus told them to do, one day He said “now go find a home and wife, live there and work a good job so you can pay for things”?

Would they have been thankful to know each night where they would lay their heads?

Would they have been thankful to no longer worry about being persecuted?

Or would they have been restless?  Having seen the world and all the needs in it, but now having little ability to do anything to change that.

What do we do with restlessness?

The Bible tells us not to be anxious or worried, but it doesn’t say what we should do when our hearts are on fire for something huge that’s completely out of our reach.

The waiting is hard.  But the blessings are still abundant.  I need eyes that see the now and stop searching for the when.  Ann Voskamp, always inspiring, said, “be present – because the present is just that – a present.”  Now is a gift and it’s in the giving of thanks that I will find my eyes.

Oh Spirit of Peace, Comforter, and Helper – my heart is in flames though I do not wish for them to cease.  I wish for my heart to be molded and refined.  The burning is uncomfortable and I fear that I will burst if I wait too long to chase after my passions.  Teach me to trust you more as you gently shape my heart with your hands.