There are days I want to quit. Throw up my hands. Tell God, “I’m done, I can’t do it anymore.” Quit on life. Turn off the world, the needs of others, and the tugging of the Spirit at my heart. Curl up in a ball and just quit.
It’s all too hard.
And I don’t even have it hard. But it feels hard. On days like this, I long for rest. It’s just too much and I can’t stand up under the weight of it all.
How easily I forget the promises of the Lord. I tell the Lord I won’t forget, I won’t forget all He’s done for me. How could I?
But then in the moment, when the sky is all but crushing me, I forget. I cry out in my anguish and ask the Lord how in the world I’m supposed to do this.
And ever so gentle as He is, He whispers to me. Always a whisper. Never an attack or belittlement. Just the loving words of a Father who has compassion on a child that simply got caught up in a moment.
He reminds me that my feelings are correct, I can’t handle all of this. It IS too much. But why, oh why, am I so anxious? I already know that it’s too much, that life is too hard, that I can’t carry the load by myself.
“Give your burdens to the LORD,
and he will take care of you.
He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.” – Psalms 55:22
What I forget is that He walks beside me to help carry the load. Many times I try to do it myself. Can you picture it? Two people walking beside each other on the road, one struggling to carry a massive weight, maybe a log or a rock. Frustrated, exhausted, trying to balance the load that keeps swaying from side to side. Other stands patiently, hands open, offering to help and ready to receive. But the load-bearer simply will not give in, she can do it by herself, she must do it by herself.
And when she finally collapses underneath the weight, broken, that’s when she will take him up on his offer. It baffles me that this is how I function most days of my life.
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7
But the most beautiful thing about God’s offer is that He doesn’t just offer to help carry the load, He actually offers to take it all. To take the entire weight off. Just give it to Him and let Him carry it. Amazing.
So when times come that I want to quit, may I remember that quitting is not the answer. Instead, may I find rest in Him. May I be willing to give Him my load and take shelter beneath His wing. There I will find my peace. There I will find my comfort.
If only I could remember. Jesus, help me remember.